This poem is the product of staying up too late and reading poetry on the Wondering Minstrels website, a now-defunct poetry archive which used to post one poem by a published poet every day. Whether or not you think all the late-night reading was worth it in this case, it would be great if someone could link me to a similar service or at least a couple of good collections. I need more poetry for sure.
Offering
If it is said that not all loves are equal,
know then that my love for you
is a small thing
and I hold it in my hand like a stone.
It is not made from truth
I know we do not know one another
and so it is a false love:
it is the satellite and not the star
a small and unromantic thing, but still
I know the constellation of your face
the angles of your name
and these things are never far from me.
Look at your hard-edged beauty
and be lonely for a moment.
This is my gift
and I can only give you what I have.
If it is said that not all loves are equal
know then that I carry this small thing
this stone, this tiny satellite
and because words are soft and pliable
let us call it love.
I'll robot
7 hours ago
9 comments:
Wow, that was splendid Fiendish! I could almost feel that love. Very well expressed-makes me nostalgic.
Keep posting.
Now, I'm first on line...(smiles).
All the best.
You've got to think that would have been worth a whole night's loss of sleep.
Do you knowThe Poetry Archive?
Should have said - all you need to do now is copy the Kick Ass Blogger jpg from mine or any blog and install it on yours.
Jena: Thanks very much for reading!
Dave: I think the verses could use some editing/re-jigging, but thank you for the comment and the link. It looks like a gorgeous website - but I am old-fashioned in the sense that I like to see the words and how they're arranged on the page.
I like the sensibility of it very much, and I love the way it ends. Fittingly, I'm reading it on very little sleep (with anticipation of no amount of good sleep in my near future), so my mind is as malleable as your words :).
I like it a lot but what the hell do I know? It reminds me of how I felt when I was less old than I am now.
Francis - you mind is malleable, eh? - seeennnnddd meeee moooonneeeeeyyyy, seeennnnddd meeee moooonneeeeeyyyy...
:)
I would have thought that this poem was pretty much a keeper. The language is focused and controlled, the two images of 'stone' and 'satellite not star' are well-chosen and powerful and the poem's voice manages deep feeling and commentary in equal measure, all these qualities surely the principal determinants of what makes a poem work. In short, I think it's great!
Francis: Oh no! Lack of sleep is the worst! Make sure you try to get some rest anyway, otherwise you won't know good from bad poems at all ;)
Ken: Thanks as always for your comment :D
Dick: That's very kind of you - I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I was afraid that the two central images were too confused. Thanks for reading.
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