Or: I Interrupt The Blog to Bring You This Unimportant Announcement
I have been seventeen this summer.
You don’t need old age or experience to know what seventeen means. You just need a collection of pop songs to understand that it’s basically it. I will never spend another summer being underage, drinking sneaky alcohol and sneaking into sneaky nightclubs. I will never be as young again as I am right now, writing this post. This is it. After this, there are exams, and after exams, there is university, and after that you’re too old to be a rock star or a supermodel. At seventeen, you are not past society’s sell-by-date for anything. At seventeen, you are the absolute centre of the universe.
And guess what? I failed.
I failed to drink any alcohol, take any drugs, or have any dangerous-type boyfriends (or even the type of boyfriends that your parents quite like). I failed to drop out of school and play in a band. I failed to get a part in a Hollywood movie or have a book published or just generally find a way to appear in the Sunday Times’ Culture supplement. I failed to be the pretty one, which is more hurtful than any self-respecting feminist should admit. I failed to have fun. I failed to be wild or rebellious or alarming. I failed to stay out all night – I even failed to come home late. Let’s face it: I failed the whole rite of passage thing as wholly as it’s possible to fail. I missed the HMS Coming of Age in a big big way.
I simply haven’t lived the beginnings of an interesting story. All of my heroes (each of whom, it should be noted, is a wealthy white English-speaking man) escaped reality somewhere around seventeen. None of them attended university. Most of them have a dodgy relationship with alcohol and/or drugs. And yet here I am, still in school (even – how did this happen? how could it? – a Prefect), still making reasonable grades and still on good terms with the local constabulary. I don’t know how to do anything else.
And confronted with the decision, I always choose what they tell me to choose. I sign the formative years of my life away to education, even though I don’t really believe that there’s anything else I want to learn. Not now. Not when I should be hanging out backstage at Glastonbury, wearing vintage clothes and being photographed. You only get a very short amount of time to do that, which in my case is approximately now. The time that I am spending not doing my homework and watching re-runs of Arrested Development.
Is there a way out?
Well, there has to be. But I’m never going to find it. I’m going to sit at home and write a blog post about how this perfectly good ordinary life just doesn’t seem to be enough for me. After all, I am seventeen. How could this be it?
I'll robot
7 hours ago
15 comments:
You may do what I did. I subconsciously postponed it all until I was in my twenties and then I went mad! You may not believe it, Fiendish, but at 23 I was a post-punk/goth - garbed in black, mismatched ear-rings, studded belts, pointy black boots, black eyeliner out to the temples - I drank beer, red wine, smoked the odd joint and dated the most self-centred musician types. I trance-danced, sweaty and solo on grotty dance floors, into the wee hours to the likes of Siouxsie, Japan, Echo and other dark (but fun) British-only-please bands. Yes. I put it all off for almost a decade. It's never to late to have a fall from grace.
Thankfully, I lived through it and now it is fodder for some of my fun poetry. (kidding)
This was fun. Enjoy your youth - whenever it's right for you.
Kat
TOO late. (I'm a perfectionist).
Kat
As I turned seventeen, I had never taken a drink, never had a girlfriend, never smoked anything, never left my own country, never slept in any bed but my own (and a few hospital beds), never rode a bike, never swam, never never never...
Look at me now!!!!
(Okay... 'not the best example of post teenage cultural achievement)
Super post though.
From the little I know of you, I would say you outshine most seventeen year olds in practically every respect.
Eighteen is much the same
Whereas Nineteen Rocks.
You've not missed anything that wasn't well worth missing. Danger and excitement only looks like fun when you're not being chased up a tree by a snarling beast. Devote yourself to humane pursuits and the liberal arts, Miss.
I honestly don't recall much about my 17th, but I'm sure it wasn't very much unlike yours. There's still plenty of time to take risks (although the alcohol/drugs ones are way over-romanticized), and the yearning for them is a good indicator that at some point you will. You could also move to the States, where you'll still have 3 more years to be under-age (as far as drinking) :).
I'm not sure where to begin here, so this entire comment may appear scattershot. Nonetheless...
This post, as a piece of writing - as a piece of fiction, were it not actually true - is beautiful. I mean that in no uncertain terms either. How many people are there out there in the world thinking those exact same thoughts? Even more interestingly, how many people in the world are 17 now, in a relationship with a dangerous type of person, experimenting with drugs, and living some supposed "dream" life, wishing they could get out?
I think the age of the wild, theoretically sexy life has passed - what we're stuck with now is the great tragedy of monotony. I'm 18, just dropped out of college, jobless, living at home, with no direction in life. My sole escape is a love for anything creative, or "arty" as my family affectionatly call it. So my plan now is to go completely over the top- throw caution to the wind, obsess over writing, take a greater interest in photography and modelling, bring back the songs I used to write, and see where it takes me.
"You don't need to take drugs to see things differently- just get high."
I suppose that may sound a tad simplistic, perhaps even condescending, but I don't mean it as such. Think about it- what I've read on here is extremely captivating, and if I recall correctly, you're interested in photography too. So focus on that, rather than the popularised, adventurous ideas of the life that people are "supposed to live".
And now that I have typed too long a comment, I shall retreat into silence once again. :P
As a person who did all the bad behaving...most people do pay for it all some time later, in some way. Some of it is fun, some of it is crap (like anything really).
At 17, just to have written this and shown this capacity for thought and self-expression, I think you are pretty astounding. Be yourself, your marvellous 17 year old self...any fool could be Lily bloody Allen!
Nonsense! There'll be opportunities galore to surprise yourself. I was as you are until I was 19, when I got myself sent down from art school - now that takes some doing! After that, I never looked back. There ought to be universities for fledgeling rock stars - actually, I think there are!
I'm really surprised and pleased by everyone's replies, so yeah, thanks very much you guys. I guess what I was trying to say and didn't quite say in the post is that I feel like someone who's stuck at home during the sixties when they could be in London partying with The Beatles. And by the time they get to London, it'll be the seventies and not fun anymore. Which is rather simplified perhaps, but well, so are my thoughts on the issue.
Poetikat: I hope that if I am subconsciously postponing anything, it turns out to be as fun as being a post-punk and dancing to Siouxsie and the Banshees :D
Ken: Ah, thank you. And of course you're a model of post-teenage achievement; if I can ever write as well as you, I'll consider my job done.
Gorilla: Thank you for the kind advice. Liberal arts it is, I think.
Francis: Yeah, there's always the US. I mean, I wanted to go there anyway, I wouldn't go there just to still be underage, or anything... *looks up flight prices* ;)
Dave: "The great tragedy of monotony" just about sums it up. Except more tragic is the fact that we're all convinced that somewhere, in some other time zone, people are having fun. Without us.
Rachel: Thank you very much. I still wouldn't mind being Lily Allen, because I think she gets a lot of free clothes and such. But point taken. ;)
Dave: Again, thanks for the encouragement. A university for rock stars would be cool, but naturally all the real rock stars would think it was selling out.
I note from your "blogs worth visiting" that you have read "So now it's me and Jim" and will know that he has presented me with the Kick-Ass Blogger Award. I now am asked to pass on the honour, so to speak, and would like to make you one of the recipients - if you have no objections, that is.
Yes and never mind the boyfriends (or lack of) we've homework for you Fiendish...all back to Dave's please!
x
Thanks, I always love your comments.
This is kind of an odd question, but what's the most popular sport in Ireland?
And I don't understand that whole "It's bad for the sport" thing that lots of people say. He's getting the sport tons of attention, and I think I'm going to join my school's swim team this year, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. How is that a bad thing, you know?
Dave: Far from objections, I am flattered and delighted that you consider me worthy of the award. Thank you very much.
A.: I'd have to say soccer, although we have some native sports that are pretty popular too. And yeah, Phelps is a superstar. Plus cute! Plus a great athlete and everything.
Hi Fiendish,
I've been late here because of a relative needing urgent attention; Anyway, better late than never.
I find your post- as usual-refreshing. A young, normal woman who expresses herself so well.
You're not missing anything really. The things you mentioned are not the vital things that a teenager should experience. Every journey is an individual one. Yours is much more meaningful for me. You can write well and you can focus on this talent to spread the word of good cheer. This way you can at least give your share of making the world a better place to live in.
Now, I'm acting like a mother. (lol)... I'm sure you'll go a long way and succeed with whatever goals you aspire for. Just remember what de Exupery said: "It's only with the heart that one can see rightly."
Cheers.
Hello! It's Grace.
Well, I followed the link to this a while ago actually - probably after I added you on that site I rarely use therefore never really follow up friend requests with comments or anything like that... But I was drawn to the blogspot link and felt I had to have a look. The fact that I am always urging everyone I know to make blogs, and then I hear someone I know has a blog, is great. How was I to know that it was going to be ... well, of such a calibre? I mean, it's the complete opposite of mine, not just in all the obvious ways (mine is just self-indulgent bull about my life which no one really cares about), but you've really got skill. And style.
Where was I? Oh, yes, so I've sort of lurked a bit - far too intimidated by the brilliance to comment - but I do love what I have read, so I should leave comment although you'll probably find this strange. As you're probably thinking "I barely know Grace. She is obviously insane." Especially as it's really late, this post was ages ago, but I am a terrible blogger, blog-reader, etc.
I hope you don't know more than one Grace. Ha.
Actually, that's quite possible.
Anyways, introduction over, time for my actual comment : I am just over a month away from being seventeen and am certainly beginning to feel like that.
I could've gone on a tangent there, but didn't. I think I don't really know you that well so you'd probably think I was an even bigger lunatic if I left a massive comment on your blog.
Oh, wait, too late!
Also, sorry to everyone else who reads this for not being like you all. Well, I do write. But I wouldn't want anyone to read it.
Okay, now for me to shut up. Nice work. I will keep reading this. And maybe try and work towards having a good blog, too.
grace.x
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